Not the Wimpy Loser Cake

So I'm sitting down with Craig and Annelee to plan the wedding and I'm running through the list: What kind of reception do you want? What kind of music? Should we serve dinner? And I ask Craig if he wants a groom's cake and he says, "A what?" And Annelee and I explain, and he says, "Well sure, I'll have one. As long as it's not the wimpy loser cake."

So now, to glorify the groom's cake — which too often does seem like the wimpy loser cake next to the bride's confection — we've planned an entire event around it. The Friday evening gathering has been billed as a "dessert social," but it's really a champagne and chocolate extravaganza with the groom's cake as the centerpiece.

If anyone is sitting on the fence about attending the Friday evening fete, I recommend jumping off the fence onto the side of "I'll be there with bells on." But only if you like chocolate, and champagne, and harp music, and good company.

The Missing Stamp

It's troublesome to finish addressing, stuffing, and sealing 124 envelopes to find that you've used 124 58-cent stamps (for the outer envelopes) but only 123 41-cent stamps (for the inner envelopes). It means that someone on the guest list will receive an unstamped return envelope, and may wonder if I'm poor, ignorant, or sloppy—or maybe all three.

I should pretend that the missing stamp was planned and the recipient of the unstamped envelope will receive a special wedding door prize. I should put my pinky up, toss back my head, look down my nose, and ask, in my snootiest Southern-belle accent, "Don't you know that door prizes are being given at awlll the must-attend weddings this season? Where haave you been?"

If I were just a tad more stylish, I might be able to pull it off. But there's not a stylish (or snooty) bone in my body. Friends of the bride—that "most likely to wear pearls and heels in the OR," "Ann Taylor is the mother ship" fashionista—may be surprised to learn that the mother of the bride dresses like a cross between aging
"peace, love, and anti-materialism" hippie and axe-toting mountain-woman. Think Renée Zellweger in Cold Mountain, with tie-dye.

So I'll admit it. The answers to the wonderings in the first paragraph are yes, yes, and yes—and, sometimes, yes again. I'm poorer than I'd like to be, aware of my ignorance, and, when it comes to carefully pasting on 124 stamps, sloppy enough to miss one. There's no door prize for receiving the unstamped envelope, but if I find out who I cheated, I will buy you a beer.

Gift Registries

A gift is, by definition, voluntary.
~Emily Post

If you wish to give Annelee and Craig a wedding gift, they are registered at the following stores:

Bed Bath & Beyond
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/regHome.asp
Williams-Sonoma
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/registry/findregistry.cfm
Molto Bella Ceramica
https://www.mbceramica.com/index.asp
412-682-1277

Please know, however, that the greatest gift you can give them is to hold them in the light and wish them well.