Get Me to the Church on Time . . . or, There Are No Accurate Maps of Morgantown

There really are no accurate maps of Morgantown. Not one. Not any. We learned that 20+ years ago when we moved here, and, even with the internet, the situation hasn't improved.

Which isn't to say you won't be able to get around, because we're sort of pinned in by the Cheat River and the Monongahela River and the Mason-Dixon line. But getting from here to there could be . . . well, interesting. If you finally give up and ask directions, a local will start by asking, "Do you know where this is?" And you'll say, "No, I've never been here before." And they'll ask, "Well, do you know where that is?" And you'll repeat, "No, I've never been here before." And then they'll ask, "Do you know where this used to be?" And you'll wonder if everyone in this state is deaf, or if they just can't believe you've never had the pleasure of visiting West By God Virginia.

We speak like this because street signs are nearly worthless in a town where the roads follow hills and ridges and hollows and streams. They merge, then split off. They change names three times in a mile. They disappear only to reappear a mile down the road. So let's start with maps, or rather links to maps.

The wedding will be a St. John's, 1481 University Avenue, in Morgantown. This is the Google map of the location, and this is the Mapquest map. Waterfront Place Hotel, where we're having the dessert social on Friday evening, is at Two Waterfront Place, in Morgantown. This is the Google map for that, and this is the Mapquest map.

Now comes the fun part. Don't ask either Google or Mapquest how to get from the hotel to the church, because they will both direct you the wrong way down a one-way street. See? No accurate maps of Morgantown.

In this post I'll give you two sets of directions. First, how to get to Waterfront Place Hotel coming from I-79:

1. Whether going north or south on I-79, take exit 152 and head east, toward Morgantown.
2. Follow that road (Holland Avenue or 19) for a couple of miles as it winds through the town of Westover and finally crosses the Monongahela River into Morgantown.
3. At the light at the end of the bridge, turn right onto Don Knotts Boulevard (also called South University Avenue or 119).
4. Take Don Knotts Boulevard for about a half mile, until you see Waterfront Place Hotel on the right.

Now, how to get from Waterfront Place Hotel to St. John's without going the wrong way down a one-way street:

1. As you leave Waterfront Place, turn left onto Don Knotts Boulevard.
2. Follow Don Knotts for almost a mile, through several lights and our little downtown, until it bears to the left. Don't worry if you look up at a street sign and see that Don Knotts has turned into University Avenue or Monongahela Boulevard. It does that.
3. Just after the road bears to the left, turn right into a parking lot behind the church. Right now the parking lot is mostly gravel. It may be paved by May 10th, but don't count on it. We're not uppity about our parking lots in this neck of the woods.

Enough for now. I'm afraid if I don't hush I'll scare away all you flatlanders.

Hotels and Mean Cats

The invitations came yesterday, and in them I promise all kinds of helpful information: Directions, hotel information, and more at http://anneleeandcraig.blogspot.com! Maybe the exclamation point isn't actually on the invitation, but I feel it there, punctuating my inability to make more than snail-ish progress in planning this extravaganza.

Since I did promise to be helpful, and since May 10th will come whether I'm ready or not, here is hotel information for our out-of-town guests.

A block of rooms has been reserved at Waterfront Place Hotel. That's also the location of the dessert social on Friday evening, so it will easy to check in, then walk downstairs to the dessert. The price per room (one king bed or two doubles) is $99/night if you make your reservation by April 11 and tell them you're part of the "Boyle-Eakes Wedding Block." If you're a member of AAA, show your card when you check in and the rate may be even lower. The phone number for Waterfront Place is 304-296-1700 and their website, with map and directions, is here.

Much to my chagrin, Waterfront Place Hotel is only ranked #6 in popularity among Morgantown hotels by Trip Advisor. Since I've never stayed in a Morgantown hotel, and can't give you a personal review, I'll pass along Trip Advisor's rankings. Their website is here, and the highest ranked hotels are these:

1. SpringHill Suites, website here.
2. Residence Inn, website here.
3. Euro Suites Hotel, website here.
4. Clarion Hotel Morgan, website here.
5. Holiday Inn Express, website here.

I hope everyone is able to find something that fits their budget and taste.

On a completely different note, Annelee's cat Cassiopeia, aka Pia, aka The Meanest Cat Of All Time, is ailing. Which is sad, no matter how poor her personality (Pia's, not Annelee's). Annelee has had her for 8 years—through most of college and all of medical school—and Pia was about 3 years old when Annelee got her, so she's lived a long, full, pampered life. But it's hard on Annelee to see her suffering and will be harder still to see her go. Somewhere I'm sure we have a picture of this devil masquerading as a cat, and when I find it, I'll post it, so you too can be misled by the dainty calico's demure countenance. And maybe you'll hold a kind thought for her, as I'm sure you will for Annelee.